Ugh. I am SO GOOD at letting a very small amount of information inform my neurosis. This morning I woke up to a basal body temperature drop, which has me freaked out because if I bleed tomorrow I will have had an 8 day luteal phase this cycle, which, according to some sources is not enough time for implantation, although according to others 9-10 days is 'more than enough' which means 8 should be enough, right? RIGHT?!
Let me just remind you - all 13 of you who have viewed this page since Friday (holy shit!) - we are not even TRYING yet. I am freaked out about my research results, which, by the way are not even complete or conclusive yet. This is why I stick to the 'soft sciences.' I'm terrible in the laboratory. Which is why I am hopeful I can return to literature review tomorrow, since that is my comfort zone.
On Saturday, La and I babysat for our friends who have 10 month old twins. The beautiful baby girls came via a complicated story of fertility treatments, which is probably even more fraught because they are a heterosexual couple and really, there is all kinds of shame and secrecy I can see in their story that really, we don't have to deal with. I mean, its pretty clear from the outside that La and I do not have the tools necessary to make a baby out of our own love and guts and we will need a little help from our friends. But, for our buddies, there is an assumption that their babies came about the old fashioned way, and I think they continue to struggle with how much to disclose and to whom.
When they got home we sat around talking for another couple of hours, mostly about the intersections of our stories. Its nice to have folks that we can talk about all of this with - not the logistical details, but the muddy feelings and curious questions. La and one of our friends both make art and have been talking about working together to put our experiences into a show. I imagine it would be both hilarious and wonderful and kind of awkward. Just like this whole thing generally is.
Back to this luteal phase shit. I'm currently trying to decide if I should pursue all of the variety of natural remedies for short luteal phases, assuming, in fact, my luteal phase ends up actually being short. This tends to be my go to: fix things before they are broken. Unfortunately, I know that bodies can get screwy when you try and fix what ain't broke. I'm trying to hold out until the end of my NEXT cycle to take the vitex and the progesterone cream, you know, so I have some actual evidence that my luteal phase is indeed short.
Since I'm just sure everyone is dying to know: rest assured, I will make sure you know the minute my uterus starts to bleed!
But also, preview of other things to come:
1) Being a fatty trying to get knocked up and trying to prepare to be a pregnant fat lady
2) Having your shit together financially - what does that mean and does it even matter?
3) Surrounded by bellies!
Let me just remind you - all 13 of you who have viewed this page since Friday (holy shit!) - we are not even TRYING yet. I am freaked out about my research results, which, by the way are not even complete or conclusive yet. This is why I stick to the 'soft sciences.' I'm terrible in the laboratory. Which is why I am hopeful I can return to literature review tomorrow, since that is my comfort zone.
On Saturday, La and I babysat for our friends who have 10 month old twins. The beautiful baby girls came via a complicated story of fertility treatments, which is probably even more fraught because they are a heterosexual couple and really, there is all kinds of shame and secrecy I can see in their story that really, we don't have to deal with. I mean, its pretty clear from the outside that La and I do not have the tools necessary to make a baby out of our own love and guts and we will need a little help from our friends. But, for our buddies, there is an assumption that their babies came about the old fashioned way, and I think they continue to struggle with how much to disclose and to whom.
When they got home we sat around talking for another couple of hours, mostly about the intersections of our stories. Its nice to have folks that we can talk about all of this with - not the logistical details, but the muddy feelings and curious questions. La and one of our friends both make art and have been talking about working together to put our experiences into a show. I imagine it would be both hilarious and wonderful and kind of awkward. Just like this whole thing generally is.
Back to this luteal phase shit. I'm currently trying to decide if I should pursue all of the variety of natural remedies for short luteal phases, assuming, in fact, my luteal phase ends up actually being short. This tends to be my go to: fix things before they are broken. Unfortunately, I know that bodies can get screwy when you try and fix what ain't broke. I'm trying to hold out until the end of my NEXT cycle to take the vitex and the progesterone cream, you know, so I have some actual evidence that my luteal phase is indeed short.
Since I'm just sure everyone is dying to know: rest assured, I will make sure you know the minute my uterus starts to bleed!
But also, preview of other things to come:
1) Being a fatty trying to get knocked up and trying to prepare to be a pregnant fat lady
2) Having your shit together financially - what does that mean and does it even matter?
3) Surrounded by bellies!
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